Distance
by pynki616
Summary: How long til they call this love? Two-shot inspired by two Christina Perri songs.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: So, I've been a fanfic reader since just after the season 3 finale. Needed something to get through the hiatus, right? I've never considered posting a story until recently, never considered myself an author. However, this idea wouldn't leave my head. This story is based on two songs by Christina Perri: Distance and Arms. When I hear Distance, I always think of it from Castle's point of view, and Arms always makes me think of Kate. So like I said, I've never thought of myself as an author, I have no idea how this story will be received, but I just needed to get it out!

Chapter 1: Distance

_I wish we would just give up_

_ 'cause the best part is falling,_

_ call it anything but love_

_ and I will make sure to keep my distance_

_ say I love you when you're not listening_

_ and how long can we keep this up?_

Wait. Delay. Postpone. Tarry. Suspend. Pause. Hold off. _**Wait**_. As a writer, Richard Castle is good with words. Especially synonyms. He has to be. You don't write 20 some best sellers using the same, boring words over and over. He said. She said. It just doesn't work. But the word he's most familiar with these days, the one he's looked up all the different ways of saying, just so it sounds different in his head, is wait. Up until he met Kate Beckett, he was never a very patient man. Having enough money to get what he wanted, when he wanted it, he didn't need to be. He's learning. Oh, is he ever. Some things are just worth waiting for. Like her.

Castle leaned back in his desk chair, ignoring the dimmed light of his laptop screen. He's been up since 4:23, after waking from yet another dream starring a naked Kate in his bed. A common occurrence these days, for sure, although this one had one element that made it impossible for him to shut his mind off and go back to sleep. It was the wedding dress, draped carefully over the plush armchair next to the window. After that dream, images of Kate in that gown popped into his head every time he closed his eyes, like they were branded on the inside of his eyelids. Sleep was not going to come again. So he got up, slipped into his robe, and cranked out a few scenes of Nikki Heat that would never see a printing press.

A trill from his cell phone stirred him from his reverie, and he checked the time in the bottom of the computer screen. 8 AM. It was now safe to head into the precinct. On days when he wasn't rudely (happily) woken up at a ridiculously early time to head to a murder scene, he has to set an alarm to keep himself from going in too early, appearing too eager. People might start to wonder what was up, if he started showing up at the 12th before everyone else, sitting in her chair, staring at the elevator doors and absentmindedly doodling hearts with KB+RC in them on all of her post-it notes. Yeah, THAT wouldn't cause some gossip. None at all.

Castle stood up, grabbed his phone, and headed for the door. He'd been ready to go for the last hour and a half. He waved to the doorman and walked to the coffee shop down the block to grab their usual morning sustenance before taking a cab to the precinct. He stepped out of the elevator to see Kate already at her desk, staring at an elephant and apparently lost in thought. She didn't seem to register the ding of the elevators arrival or the cadence of his footsteps approaching her desk.

"Morning, Kate," he greeted, trying desperately (and failing, he's pretty sure) to hide the "I love you" that seemed to constantly shine from his eyes. He's trying so hard to be patient, maintain that distance she needs right now. She startled, jerked her head up to meet his eyes. His breath caught in his throat at what he saw on her face. Her eyes lit up, her lips spreading in a slow grin that knocks the breath out of him, forces him to sit. Something's different this morning.

"Hey, Castle. How are you?" she asked, and the warmth in her voice is reminiscent of a dusty bank vault, where the look on her face had him *this* close to spilling his feelings, again. If his mother hadn't interrupted, he may have.

"I'm good. And you? You look awfully bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning. Let me guess. Hot date tonight?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She gave him a coy smile before putting him out of his misery. "No date, Castle. Unless…" she trailed off, suddenly looking a little nervous. He waited a few seconds, enthralled by the transformation from confident, teasing Beckett to shy, schoolgirl Kate.

"Unless…?" Castle finally promted. She met his gaze, and again he was struck by what he saw. He could practically feel the affection oozing from her gorgeous eyes. Definitely something different today. He leaned forward expectantly as she opened her mouth to speak.

"Hey, Beckett! We got one. You guys comin'?" Oh, for the love of… Damnit, Ryan, we gotta work on your timing, Castle thought, as he watched Kate clear her throat and answer the Irish detective. Back to business, moment gone. So Castle slipped himself back into partner mode, although he kept a closer eye on her all day. He even tried getting away with a little more contact, and was surprised at what she was allowing. His hand on her lower back just a little longer. Brushing knuckles together as they walked side by side, a little closer than what had become normal. Even touching her waist briefly as he joined her in front of the murder board, huddled together even though there was at least 5 feet of floor space they could have been occupying. And all of that without the slightest chastisement passing her lips. Interesting day, indeed…

The case ended up being less interesting, just the average mugging gone wrong, done by a dumber than average perp. The guy left his fingerprints all over the wallet and proceeded to leave the wallet on the vic, and was found later with the murder weapon, a Ruger 9mm, tucked into the waistband of his pants. Not the sharpest knife in the block, this one. Castle had intended to sit with Kate, pretend to play Angry Birds while clandestinely watching her do paperwork. Instead, he received a call from Alexis, wondering where he is with dinner. Tonight is pizza night, and he's supposed to pick their favorite up on the way home. He stood up, retrieving his jacket from the back of his chair. "Well, Kate, I better run. Alexis is waiting for me to bring dinner home. But I'll see you tomorrow?" His question isn't really a question. They both know he'll be here.

"Yeah, Castle. See you tomorrow," She replied. Does she actually look a little disappointed? Yeah, he thinks she does. But he'll have to figure that out later. Alexis is waiting, and he still has to call the pizza place.

A few hours later, pizza has been consumed, conversations with his daughter have been had, and he's back where he was this morning, rocking back in his desk chair. Contemplating. Brooding. It's what authors do, right? He's kidding himself, though. He is doing nothing so authorly as brooding. More accurately, he's daydreaming. Imagining the day when (_when, _not _if._) he will be free to tell Kate how he feels. Show her just how much he loves her. He's so involved in his daydreaming that it takes him a minute to realize there's knocking on the door of the loft. He glanced at the clock. 11:05. Kinda late for visitors. Checking the peephole (he works with the cops, after all. He's learned to be safe.), Castle sucked in a surprised breath at who is on the other side of the door. He opens it to greet his guest.

"Kate. Hi. What brings you here?"

_I keep waiting_

_ for you to take me,_

_ you keep waiting_

_ to save what we have,_

_ so I'll make sure to keep my distance_

_ say I love you when you're not listening._

_ how long til we call this love, love, love…_

__**AN**: Thoughts? Reviews? Constructive criticism is welcome, just be gentle!


	2. Chapter 2

__**AN: **This chapter takes place the same day as chapter one, just from Kate's POV. To clarify, there are no secrets in this story. Secrets are dumb... ;)

**Disclaimer: **Forgot this on the first chapter. Don't own 'em. Obviously...

_how many times will you_

_let me change my mind_

_and turn around?_

_I can't decide if I'll let you_

_save my life or if I'll drown…_

Kate Beckett was startled awake by the obnoxious buzz of her alarm clock. Already? She felt like she had just finally gotten to sleep. Face buried in her pillow, her left arm slithered out from the pile of blankets to pound fruitlessly on the offensive clock. When she was unable to silence it with a couple of apparently ill-placed whacks, she just grabbed it and yanked the cord out of the socket. Kate was normally a little more coordinated in the morning, but a lack of sleep had her feeling groggy and a little irritable. That is, until she remembered WHY she was so tired.

It all started on her way home from the precinct the night before. Castle had left the radio tuned to some pop channel that she usually didn't listen to, but she was too tired to even bother switching it off. Her ears perked up, though, at the sound of a female voice singing this beautiful song about being home in someones arms. She turned it up and listened to the lyrics, a little bit shocked, because the more she heard, the more it was like the singer was inside of her own head. All this talk about drowning and walls and being unable to hurt someone if she was alone, it's like the song was written for her. When she got home, she downlaoded the song on her iTunes and listened to it over and over. It sounded like this girl was telling her to just jump, climb over her own wall and leap, trusting that she would be caught. And the more Kate thought about it, the more she was sure that she would be. Castle may try to hide it, but he's not a very subtle man. And she is a detective, after all. She has noticed the lack of arm candy, the way he stares when he thinks she doesn't see. The coffee, and the way he feels the need to invade her space to place it in front of her on the desk. And though he tries to cover it, tries to keep his face neutral, his eyes say it all. She sees the longing, the hope, the LOVE shining out of those blue eyes she has come to love so much. So she laid awake, song lyrics drifting though her mind, alternately daydreaming (is it still called daydreaming, if you're supposed to be *actually* dreaming?) about Castle and pep-talking herself, gathering courage to make a move.

Remembering the night before and the decision she had made to take a risk, Kate was suddenly overflowing with nervous energy. She shoved the covers back and jumped out of bed, heading for the shower. She made sure to use a generous amount of the cherry scented conditioner, then slathered on the matching body lotion after she was out. Deciding what to wear was tricky, but she finally settled on the purple plaid shirt that she KNOWS he loves. She has caught him checking her out in this, more than once. A piece of toast to settle the butterflies in her stomach (didn't help…) and she's out the door.

Thirty minutes and no case later, Kate is sitting at her desk, failing to focus on the paperwork in front of her. She's so lost in thought that she doesn't hear the elevator, doesn't know he's here until he's reaching around her, setting her coffee down. "Morning, Kate," Castle said with a little chuckle, probably amused at having gotten the drop on her. Kate looks up, immediately warmed by the smile in his eyes, the love that permeates from them. It's that look that convinces her that she's doing the right thing, and she smiles back.

"Hey, Castle. How are you?"

"I'm good. And you? You look awfully bright-eyed and bushy tailed this morning. Let me guess. Hot date tonight?" Oh, Castle, if only you knew.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She smiled slyly at him, but noticed the way his shoulders slumped just the tiniest amount. Something she would have missed, had she not been watching so closely. "No date, Castle. Unless…" She looked down, suddenly overcome by nerves. Since when was she a shy teenager, asking a boy to the dance for the first time? She could do this.

"Unless…?" Castle repeated curiously. She finally looked up, and he leaned forward, anxious to hear what she had to say.

"Hey, Beckett! We got one. You guys comin'?" Ryan called across the bull pen. Oh, for the love of… Did she not teach him anything? Couldn't he tell when a confession was forthcoming? She was going to have to have a talk with that man.

"On our way, Ryan," She replied, shooting him a glare. He shrugged his shoulders, clueless as the what her problem was. She glanced back at Castle, but he was already standing up, sliding his arms into his jacket. Damn. This had better not take all day, Kate thought as she reached for her coat. Castle beat her to it, though, and held it up for her. She slipped her arms in, giving him a shy smile when he helped pull her hair out from under the collar. That was something new, but she wasn't going to complain. By the end of the day, she was hoping there would be a lot more new things happening. Maybe involving lips…

Kate considered herself incredibly lucky that her team was called for this case. Yes, usually she preferred the more challenging ones, the ones that required a lot more creative thinking. Today, though, she was glad to not have to think much. Castle seemed a little more…open… with his affection today. Normally he was a lot more sneaky. Ok, not really. He *tried* to be sneaky, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Least of all her. Anyway, he didn't seem to even be trying today, and it was driving her to distraction. She couldn't even summon the will to roll her eyes at him. How could she, when every time his hand brushed her shoulder, or her waist, or her own hand, all she wanted to do was shove him into a supply closet and kiss him until the both couldn't breathe? So thankfully, their dirtbag of the day was a complete moron, and before she knew it she was filling out the paperwork for the case. Castle sat there, pretending to play Angry Birds. She knew he was faking. He's been on that same level for the last 5 days.

She's fairly close to done for the day, when Castle gets a phone call from his daughter. Kate watched him, the way his face softens as he speaks into the phone. She has to admit, it was this side of him that she fell for first. Yeah, the bad boy air he put on was hot, but this. This spoke volumes about the man he really was. Sweet, devoted, loving. She finds herself imagining him how he was with baby Alexis, only the bundle in his arms is a boy, and he's got her dark brown hair… Woah, slow down there, woman.

"Well, Kate, I better run. Alexis is waiting for me to bring dinner home. But I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, Castle. See you tomorrow," she replied, tamping down the disappointment she felt, trying to keep it off her face. At least until he turned away, headed for the elevator. Sighing, Kate returned to her paperwork, finisheed it off in an hour. Placing it in her outbox, she waved goodbye to the boys before heading home. She was so tempted to skip home and head to Castle's loft, but she was loathe to intrude on father/daughter time. A bath and rereading Heat Wave will have to do for tonight.

A few hours later, Kate is sitting in her robe, bath done, reading page 105. Again. She'll never tell him, but she has read that part more times than she can count, often replacing their names for Nikki and Rook. She'd never hear the end of it if he found out. She got up to turn her computer off, head to bed, but then heard a familiar song come up on the playlist. She sat down again, listening, wondering about their terrible sense of timing. It seems every time one of them tries to make a move, say something that will forever alter their relationship, someone interrupts. Damn, she's getting sick of that. Feeling a new sense of purpose, she went into her bedroom and threw her clothes from earlier on. Slipping into flats (her legs are a little to jello-like to trust wearing her normal heels), she locked up and ran down the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator.

The cab ride seemed to take forever, but before she knew it, she was standing in the hallway, knocking on his door. She had to knock a few times. Looking at her empty wrist, she realized that it probably was a little late. Maybe he was asleep? She was just about to turn away when she heard footsteps from inside. The lock clicked loudly in the silent hallway, and the door opened on a surprised-looking Castle.

"Kate. Hi. What brings you here?"

Kate stared up at him, suddenly unsure of how to proceed. She felt short, vulnerable without the height her normal footwear provides. _Jump, just do it,_a little voice in her head prompted. A little voice that sounded a lot like Lanie. Since when did Lanie become her conscience? That's messed up. Oh, to hell with it. Just do it. Without further thought, Kate propelled herself forward, wrapped her arms around Castle's midsection. She felt him tense, and then slowly relax as his arms returned the embrace.

"Kate? What's…"

"Shhhh, Castle. I'm conducting an experiment," Her reply was muffled, and Castle wasn't sure he heard her right.

"Feel free to experiment on me anytime, Kate, but really. What's going on?" Kate sighed, snuggled a little closer.

"She's right. This IS home."

_I hope that you see right through my walls._

_I hope that you catch me_

_cause I'm already falling._

_I'll never let a love get so close_

_you put your arms around me and I'm home._

__**AN: **So there you have it. My first fanfic. Please review, let me know what you thought!


End file.
